OK, I just have to say this. It is awesome to hear Adam Baldwin say that he is tired of feeling like team Chuck's little fat kid. Chuck is a great show that everyone should watch.

I love going to the Ren Faire, and if I could afford it, I would go every weekend in Oct and Nov. Anywho, this year proved to be a great time, and I would almost say that it was the best time I have ever had. We got to camp two nights, and that really made all the difference. The shows were great, and the costumes were amazing, but this year was different because it was just so chill. We didn't really have any fixed schedule, just wandered. It was awesome, and I ended up having a long, interesting conversation with some amazingly interesting people.

This weekend really restored my faith in the human heart. For a while, I have been feeling like people just don't give a damn anymore, and this weekend changed that for me. It was really great to see people that genuinely cared for others with nothing expected in return.

Anyway, great weekend.

I often wonder why some people are so damned oblivious to the world around them. I see people all around me ignoring the facts that I see so clearly, and yet I can do nothing to relieve their pain. I'll give you three guesses what is causing their pain, and the first two don't count. If you guesses relationships, then you win the big prize, if I started giving out big prizes. Maybe this is why I am so reluctant to pursue one for myself. I see the pain that is caused by them, and that is not something I would wish on someone I don't like, let alone myself! And yet, I see the other side of that in friends and family that have found a relationship that completely fills them, makes them whole, and I desire that feeling so badly. Where is the balance in this? How can this be an all or nothing enterprise? Doesn't that defy everything else in nature? For a long time I have lived with the firm belief that balance in all things is the cause for existence. Balance allows us to be clear of vision, and firm in purpose. When everything is balanced, nothing is left to chance, nothing is wasted, and nothing is lost.

Or maybe loss is a requisite. Perhaps loss is the thing that allows for the joy that comes from a relationship. Maybe I am the most oblivious fool of them all. Maybe everything in life cannot be balanced, as though it a mathematical equation. But then what is life? Is it some incalculable thing that will constantly defy us at every turn? Then why have we been given this desire for order? What is the point in seeking after something that will never come to be, no matter how close we may come. I believe in an intelligent design for life, and any intelligent design must have order. Chaos is fun, but cannot be used as a ruling principal, or nothing will ever come to any kind of resolution. That is why so many films are now becoming trilogies. We need to see the order come to fruition in the lives of these people, just as we need to see it in our own  lives.

Can chaos lead to order, or must we simply bounce around until we bounce into someone who is going the same way we are? Hmmm.

Hi all. I'm new here, so I decided to use this journal just to say hi and say what I plan to do here. I am going to be updating this fairly regularly with my thoughts and such. Might be a lot, might be just a few sentences.  It's all gonna depend on what I have to say. I can tell you one thing. I plan to use this for serious thought. No bullshit, no silly surveys, nothing like that. Just my brain. That should be all the silliness that one place can handle.